LOVING A REACTIVE DOG: WHAT MARVIN HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT PATIENCE, EMPATHY, AND DOG PHOTOGRAPHY

You will have seen Marvin on my website and on my socials - you may also have spotted his ears in my logo! But you may not know his story – or how living with a reactive dog shapes everything I do today. When we decided to adopt Marvin, we had no idea what we were letting ourselves in for - or the emotional journey we were about to embark on. Loving him hasn’t always been easy, but it’s taught me so much. In fact, he’s the reason that Dog-eared Photography exists today.

A DOG-SHAPED HOLE

Photo of a dog at Bottle Lake Forest Christchurch Dog Photography

In mid-2021 my partner and I decided to get our first dog together. I’d just been through a pretty rough time with my mental health, and we thought that bringing a dog into our lives would give me something to focus on and help me get out of my own head. We initially looked at perhaps getting a Labrador or a West Highland Terrier but then my friend told me about a litter of puppies that her friend had just rescued so we decided to go and have a look. And there was Marvin, this tiny wee puppy with floppy ears who kept crying for me to pick him up and that was it, we were smitten.

A few weeks later, when he was eight weeks old (and just as another lockdown was about to begin), we went to pick him up. I was so excited to get him home. And for that first couple of weeks, it was all puppy cuddles (and toilet training and sock-eating and ankle-biting!) But the biting seemed to be getting more intense - there was one time that he got so worked up that he took a good chunk out of the side of my finger, and I had to get stitches. Pretty quickly we realised we were in deep. He wasn’t just bouncy or high energy: sometimes it was like a red mist would descend and his brain would switch off and his instinct was to latch on to me or my partner. There were times when I was scared of him because he was just so unpredictable. One minute we’d be sitting on the couch chatting, the next Marvin was jumping up and latching on to one of us, seemingly out of nowhere.

LIVING WITH A REACTIVE DOG

That’s when we realised we were living with a reactive dog. We began working with a behaviourist and a trainer, and I threw myself into learning. I read everything I could: Don’t Shoot the Dog, The Other End of the Leash, Inside of a Dog. I really wanted to understand why he reacted the way he did and what was going on in that brain of his. Because I got it. He had big feelings, and he didn’t know what to do with them sometimes. His brain sometimes went a bit haywire and acted against him. I mean, same. I’d been through my own struggles, and I really wanted to help him through his.

OUR DOG TRAINING JOURNEY

But it was tough. There was the guilt that we weren’t doing enough and that we didn’t understand him the way he needed to be understood. Or that it was our fault that he was like this – we mustn’t have started him off on the right path. And the grief – the grief for the dog we thought we were getting. The dog we could take to the pub or on nice chill walks with our friends. I mean, other people had those dogs, why couldn’t we?

The turning point came when we visitied a veterinary behaviourist when Marvin was almost a year old. After having seen him for only a few minutes she said, “he’s a good candidate for medication.” It was such a relief – validation that his issues weren’t just in our heads and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Our amazing trainer helped us really understand what Marvin was feeling and how to support him when he was struggling. And, perhaps even more importantly, she reminded us that our feelings mattered too. Because when you’re living with a reactive or anxious dog, you can get so consumed by their needs that you forget that you have needs too.

GLIMMERS OF HOPE

And slowly things started improving. I remember when I sent our trainer a video of Marvin just chilling in his pen when we were vacuuming – something that once would have sent him into a frenzy. It felt like such a big moment. And when we had a friend round and Marvin managed to calm down to the point that he could lie on the floor and disengage from her. With Marvin the small things really were huge things.

But the progress wasn’t linear. Sometimes it felt like we took one step forward and two steps back. Every time he was doing well and we let our guard down, he’d remind us that he still needed help. But there were glimmers of hope, and those glimmers started getting more sparkly and more frequent.  And now he’s almost four years old and we’re all here to tell the tale.

WHY MARVIN CHANGED EVERYTHING

Things are by no means perfect. Now that we’re in Christchurch we’re working with another trainer on his relationship with his sister (a tale for another time!) and on helping him to relax when someone visits the house. And, as I’m writing this, I have my treat pouch on and am working on him noticing noises outside without going into full meltdown! And there’s still that lingering guilt that we’ve somehow made him this way. But Marvin has taught me a lot and I don’t think I would have found dog photography if it wasn’t for him. He’s become my muse in so many ways. Obviously that handsome face and expressive ears make for some great photos! But he’s also taught me a lot about empathy and about meeting our dogs (and humans) where they are. And that we can be messy and imperfect and still loveable. Something I need a reminder of sometimes.

CAPTURING THE MOMENT I NEVER THOUGHT I’D HAVE

Photo of a dog on the beach Dog-eared Photography Christchurch

This image is so special to me because it was the first time Marvin had ever been off leash in a public space. Look how happy he is! This is a moment I really never thought I’d experience and I’m so glad I managed to capture it.

So, if you’ve ever felt alone, overwhelmed or ashamed in loving a complex dog, I get it. Your story – and your dog’s – is one worth telling. And I’d be honoured to help you do just that.